Cry

Her breathing is rapid and deep.As she looks around the room,all she sees is darkness.Fear engulfs her and tears her apart.Tears start to form as she's standing there trying to find strength from somewhere deep within her;extremely deep within her.She stretches her arms in front of her trying to feel for something to hold on to.Moving tiny steps forward at a time,she tries to remember all the good times she had,all the happy and encouraging ones.She tries to remember the love and warmth that once radiated from her and towards her.She tries and tries,but fails.By now,her tears have turned to sobs.Her breathing is ragged and her nose gets stuffy.

She wants so much for the fear and pain to go away!So much!Everything she'd attempted to do failed.Everything she didn't do she regretted!The pain eating her inside was worse than any pain she'd ever felt before!Where was the peace she was promised?Where was the hope and dreams she'd been given?What had happened to all those people who had promised to love her,no matter what?Where was God?

In defeat,she falls to her knees.She covers her face with her hands and cries into them.She starts to scream,hoping for some sort of relief to wash over her,but no;she felt worse than before.Time and time again,she tried to right all the wrong.She looked for places to turn to in hope of finding refuge.Yet,nothing gave her more than momentary relief;a temporary high where she'd feel good about herself and her circumstances.Remembering all that,she saw the blade of the knife shining across the room as the soft rays of moonlight came in from the small rectangular mirror.

"God,I asked You so many times to take my life,Lord!I asked that You would just take me from this place that has put me through so much pain!But You DIDN'T!WHY?!I don't to live like this anymore!I don't want to live at all!I give up!"Weeping,she crawled across the room and reached for the knife.She cradled it in her arms,tears falling down her face onto her hands,onto the floor.This was it,she thought.No more....

She aimed the knife over her wrist.She felt the cold metal against her skin as she brought it down slowly to the target.She remembered something in her mind.A memory from many years ago.She had been learning how to ride the bicycle and her dad was teaching her.After many attempts,she had a whole new collection of cuts and bruises.She had cried and complained to her dad about it.She told him that it was no use,that she would never learn to ride it.Her dad had gently told her that she could do it.He told her that life was full of ups and downs,challenges,seasons that she would have to go through.He had also told her to never give up and always trust God and the people she loved.

Daddy had said,"I love you,little girl,and because I do,I know you can do it.I have faith in you.Won't you have a little faith in me?No matter what,I'm not going to give up on you...."