My prayer..

Lord,I'm sorry I'm such a coward.I'm sorry I am so self-conscious.I'm sorry my faith in YOU can be so much bigger.I'm sorry I don't know how to handle the mistakes I've made.I'm sorry I can't look away from my past yet.I'm sorry I find it so hard that You have truly forgiven me for my sins.I'm sorry I have so much to be sorry for!!!Lord,I really don't see how You can love me so much.I don't know what You see in me and why You even bother caring for me.It's so frustrating when in my times of trouble,I don't turn to You before everyone else,that I don't search for You first.It's even more annoying that I have to be reminded of how great You are despite everything You've ever done for me and in me.I've become so attuned to living life as a routine,going through everything the same way,prayer the exact same things sometimes,and saying I'm so busy with this and that that I become so ignorant towards You,Lord.It's so hard to just come and be in that place of wanting to wait on You,and we end up making You wait on us even after all the prompting from the Holy Spirit.I know Lord,that You won't wait long for us,You have so many other people to choose from to carry out Your plans.Lord,I just feel so worthless right now.I feel so guilty of things that have just resurfaced in my life.Lord,they've just turned my life upside down,made my perception on things just run all over the place.
Lord,just take total control over me,just take control over my life.I give You my life,Lord.I surrender it all to You.Lord,help me be who You want me to be.I pray all this in Your mighty name,Amen.

Loving someone...

Loving someone is never easy.Loving someone is more than just having strong feelings for a certain person,loving a person means you are willing to sacrifice more than you are actually willing to.At least,that what it looks like to me.Loving someone is having the courage to bare your soul to that person and you aren't scared to share your everything with that person.You're ready to share all you have with that person and you're ready to fight for that person.
The greatest example of love would of course have to be of God,the father and God,the son.
Jesus knew the purpose God had put in His life.Despite knowing what He would have to go through on earth-the pain,suffering,tests,rejection,death-He went through it all anyway.He trusted God to know what was right for Him and all of God's creations.Jesus was tempted in many ways,but He never once went against God's commands because He knew God wouldn't like it.As humans,we find it so hard to follow God's commands every time.Sometimes temptation gets the better of us and we end up sinning.If we love God,we should try even harder to resist whatever temptations there are in our lives and learn to lead a life that would be pleasing to God.It's hard,no doubt,but love is so powerful.It's something God has never stopped stressing throughout the whole bible.With love in our hearts,we can stay strong against any attacks of the enemy.We have God's love upon our lives.Jesus went through all that He did so that we could lead sinless lives,so that God could forgive us for our sins.Shouldn't we be doing just that?

Back again..

My busy busy busy schedules are back once again.I'm actually thankful for it because I've been lazing around and procrastinating A LOT this past few weeks.My attitude of not wanting to do anything was really getting on my nerves because I knew I could put in so much more effort into my schoolwork.This past week has been madness.I'm someone who loves to sleep,so when I don't get enough of sleep I tend to get grumpy.A whole week of sleeping earliest at 12pm and latest at 3am because of folios and moral assignments.Finally it's over,at least for now,and I can go back to sleeping at 10pm and getting up feeling good;not sitting on my bed for 10 minutes before my brain actually starts to function properly.
My teacher chose me for MSSKL Merentas Desa.I'm not sure why because I'm not a long distance runner,but I'm up for a challenge,so I don't mind.Today we had our first training session in school.No one told me about it until I reached school in the morning.One of my juniors asked me if I brought my PJ clothes,and I didn't.Thank God I had my was wearing my school shorts under my skirt,so I just had to find a shirt.My teacher gave us 45 minutes to complete the whole 5km distance.I was worried I wouldn't beat the time,and at 1 point I thought I was already over the time limit.When I reached the ending point,my teacher told me everyone finished within the time limit.I was so happy!And I was only about 4 minutes later than the 1st girl.Whee...the training I did on my own really helped.I found out where my weaknesses were today,so I know what to focus on now.I have to thank my "coach" for helping me with the training. =D

The Amazing MotorBus!!!!and My sister's super strength!!!

MotorBus...and Farrel...=D

Trying to act macho..sigh...

Now,this is seriously MACHO!!!!=P

Enough macho-ness..Thank you Amelia..=D

Save Me!!!!

Save me from my brothers!!!!Ahhhh!!!!=P Hahahaha..there was this frog or toad or whatever that has been taking refuge in our house for the past few days.I came back from school 2 days ago and it was at the foot of the stairs leading to the dining room.I saw it,and guess what??I screamed like a mad woman!!!=P Hahahaha...Running up the stairs and jumping around saying "KATAK!!!KATAK!!!!".Thinking back,it was hilarious!!My brother,Brian just found the frog again.He was sitting beside me talking to me for about 5 minutes and I had no idea he was holding the frog in his hands!!When I finally noticed it,thank God he wasn't beside me.I would have started a screaming frenzy again.Right,so that's Brian for you.He used to want to be a vet by the way,so that would explain why he's not afraid of animals.

Let's move on to Farrel now.Farrel is probably planning on being an inventor.That still needs to be confirmed.Yea,anyway,he was playing around with his toy truck and then he took the motorcycle helmet and put it on top the bus.Alas!!The motorbus was created.Or has it already been created?O.o???Anyways..I'll post the pictures later..=D

Siblings

One thing I've always loved is seeing people be with their siblings.You get to see that special bond formed between them is such a welcoming sight.Even if the person doesn't have a sibling,you see that bond,that connection between that person and his/her really close friend.Of course,nothing can give you the exact same feeling you get when you're with your real sibling,but that special relationship with your friends are something amazing as well.I'm not close to all my siblings.I have 3 younger siblings by the way.I'm the eldest of us 4.I'm especially close to my brother,Brian,who is right after me.Amelia,my sister after Brian really looks up to me.I can tell by the way she's always asking me for advice with her schoolwork,what activities she should join in school and what she should be doing on that day.It's easier talking to Brian since our age gap is smaller and he's going through a lot of things I've already gone through with my parents.That helps me be more understanding towards what he's facing now,and it's easier to help him as well.I love the fact that he isn't shy to hug me or show affection in public.Sometimes I need to nudge him for a hug,but most days he gives them willingly. =P My sister is more of the baby in the family than my youngest brother,Farrel is.Farrel is very independent.He's the only one out of 4 of us who didn't cry on our first day of kindergarten.He's really sociable and makes friends easily.He can be quite irritating sometimes as well.He's outspokenness intimidates his classmates sometimes.My naughty brother is only 7,and he's already kissed 3 girls his age.Such a nonsense. =P Amelia on the other hand,is the shy,conservative type of girl.She can be really sweet when she wants to,but when she's mad,it's like World War 3 is here.She's extremely smart and hardworking,she's also really good in sports,like me!!!=P Hahahaha...all my siblings are really good at sports actually.I love them all really really really much.We do quarrel and fight sometimes,but it's never made our relationship with one another waver ,instead,it's made us so much closer to each other.We're learning more about each other everyday,building our trust towards one another,learning to be more understanding towards each other and loving each other even more everyday.=D