My prayer..

Lord,I'm sorry I'm such a coward.I'm sorry I am so self-conscious.I'm sorry my faith in YOU can be so much bigger.I'm sorry I don't know how to handle the mistakes I've made.I'm sorry I can't look away from my past yet.I'm sorry I find it so hard that You have truly forgiven me for my sins.I'm sorry I have so much to be sorry for!!!Lord,I really don't see how You can love me so much.I don't know what You see in me and why You even bother caring for me.It's so frustrating when in my times of trouble,I don't turn to You before everyone else,that I don't search for You first.It's even more annoying that I have to be reminded of how great You are despite everything You've ever done for me and in me.I've become so attuned to living life as a routine,going through everything the same way,prayer the exact same things sometimes,and saying I'm so busy with this and that that I become so ignorant towards You,Lord.It's so hard to just come and be in that place of wanting to wait on You,and we end up making You wait on us even after all the prompting from the Holy Spirit.I know Lord,that You won't wait long for us,You have so many other people to choose from to carry out Your plans.Lord,I just feel so worthless right now.I feel so guilty of things that have just resurfaced in my life.Lord,they've just turned my life upside down,made my perception on things just run all over the place.
Lord,just take total control over me,just take control over my life.I give You my life,Lord.I surrender it all to You.Lord,help me be who You want me to be.I pray all this in Your mighty name,Amen.